Sunday, October 31, 2010

Autumn Leaves suck ass


after recently meeting with a very busy bride ( she's in a field where her schedule is insane, and I GET THAT) I met up with her on my own time in NYC ( something I really never do) She was having a 2 day event and I had created this whole proposal for 2 days coverage in NYC, talked to both her and her planner on the phone etc etc. I think it would have been a beautiful event.
So in our meeting, she goes on and on about how much "emotion and feeling" my photos have and how "they haven't found anyone else whose work they feel as strongly about" GREAT! I think--this is in the bag.

Not so fast...photoguy.

Then the tone changes , she does a 180 nd she launches into how " ...frantic their schedule is and how it seems that we cannot schedule a time that convenient for an engagement session"
"We have all of November or the Spring!" I suggest, "I can even do halloween!"
"No, no, no---we want The Leaves" [for the record, i think I am officially OVER the fucking Fall leaves and the booking trouble they cause] So i'm kinda like, "Well YOU have no free time, and neither do I---so I'm not sure what you wanna hear from me?"
"Well - as much as we ADORE your work, we are thinking of hiring someone closer who is like 5 minutes away and not as far as where you are."
"Yeah but, I said I'M COMING TO YOU FOR YOUR ENGAGEMENT SESSION!"

None of this seemed to sink in and her eyes glazed over with the next bad decision she was planing on making--- "what if we hired you JUST for the night before the wedding but hired someone to DO the wedding day?"

What. The. Fuck?

So let me wrap my head around this---you 'love' my work, but because we cannot find 60 minutes in the next fucking week for an engagement session so you can have your damn LEAVES - you are going to forfeit the photographer you 'adore' for someone closer---JUST FOR THAT SINGLE REASON??? I might also add that 'he' likes the nature of the leaves but 'SHE' prefers the urban look---so how important then could the leaves really be?

She then emails me 2 days before halloween asking me if I can still shoot that day and do the event the night before. I told her 'NO' and to go to Central park, grab a fistful of leaves, jam them up her twat and live happily ever after.


thank you very much, Autumn--- for losing me a job.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

a REAL email from a REAL asshole

"First of all, I'm also a photographer and know the cost and investments in equipment. Your base package is much higher than most equivalent photographers. You were also the slowest to respond. I see that you are a quality group, however, that being said not at double the price. Your base price is higher than many second tear (i believe he means 'tier' not TEAR---fucking DICK) packages. I hope that in this poor economy you continue to find work, but I will not pay that high of a price. Other groups include engagment shoots, include finished CD's, the wedding day, unlimited time, a $600.00 budget included toward the book and a small 8 /2 x 11 table book for the reception where people sign. These packages ranged between $2200.00 and $2500.00 with what they said was over 1000 pictures. Even though you are highly rated, 4 to 5 stars that is the same rating as the others. I also looked at the picture samples. Also, you were rated as a 2 star costing vs some at 4 star costing and you are double the price. Something is wrong. (less stars being less expensive). I will have many young unmarried people at the wedding and feel you are hurting your business by not being competitive. We will have over 300 people in attendance. I need a firm and complete price. Please let me know your thoughts. I plan to make a decision within the next week or two. Thanks"


Heres my suggestion - while you're learning the english language and how to construct sentences--you take either one of my testes and pop it in your mouth & start sucking, while I sit busily editing one of last years 40 weddings you cheap, pretentious cocksucking muthafucker. How DARE you review my business and give me your 2 cent business advice when your website or 'business' is not even internet searchable. ( you have heard of the 'internet', right?) The 'slowest to respond' ? Maybe THAT'S because I was in a shock-coma from your obnoxious email. Whadya do...A few $999 weddings for pals in Indiana ? Fuck off, you smegma-cheese laden dickhead, and good luck on your inevitably failed marriage.

cocksucker.