keep me in mind for your third wedding, please

It's happened again - the old "we love you Sooooooo much, but are not using you but will DEFINITELY keep you in mind in the future."

Hi ... thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly, and I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, things on my end have just been incredibly crazy. I have decided on another photographer ... mainly to save me some money. My sister-in-law referred me to you because of how beautiful (another brides) pictures came out ... and I absolutely love your work. I will, without a doubt, keep you in mind in the future. Thanks again!!

Honestly, what the fuck? I'm not sure if it's insulting or people are just plain embarrassed. "mainly to save me some money" Is that even english? Well, i'm sure their stunning event at the I-95 'Days Inn' will be the media event of the year.

just plain rude

if you're affected by the economy and cannot afford certain services, fine - but you don't have to be all cunty about it:

Hi There;

Unfortunately, your pricing seemed a bit steep, and given the current state of the economy, we noticed that many qualified and highly talented photographers are available at much more reasonable rates.

Thanks again,_ _ _ _ _ _

good luck with your JC Penny photographic stylings. You'll be divorced in no time anyway, and sitting home alone masturbating with a cucumber while watching 'Sex In The City' reruns.

style guru

There is a new wave of chilling salesmanship on the wedding horizon - one that is once again aimed at unsuspecting vendors and professionals. Certain 'pretty' blogs with a fair amount of 'style'...this new approach is the 'Exclusive Wedding Blog'; one that will only host a select number of vendors. One that fancies themselves hosted by 'style gurus' - who are in fact - chicks sitting around their living room on a laptop dreaming up the Next Big Thing. I guess thats

Capitalism in the flesh when you stop and think about it.

In the past if you had the dollars, you could get an ad. They practically jumped though the phone to give you a hand job. And if you placed a print ad - there was inevitably oral pleasure involved.

These days, things have changed and what's rather appalling about this new approach, is how these jokers are now sending out emails targeting photographers and wedding pros with a "non-refundable application fee." THAT is previously unheard of; to simply pay to be considered.

Sounds to me like someone needs diapers for their kids.

What background do these 'gurus' have? What criteria do they utilize, not only judge the vendors, but dole out the wedding opinions to doe-eyed, puzzled brides all willy-nilly? Don't brides have enough shit to sift through without this bullshit getting added to the mix?

What this basically amounts to is this: "Please send us Yentas sitting arounf in our PJ's, in a 2 bedroom apartment making random decisions some cash. We'll tell everyone that cookies and the color BLUE will be hot his year - and OH yes- you also owe us $750 for listing this year."

It's a National Tragedy- can I have a discount?

This is truly disgusting and submitted by a reader who received this email:

My fiance and I are in the begining process of researching photographers and, we were looking to stay around the $2000 range. Is this something you could work with? Some vendors have been more willing to negotiate because of the implication on our date (9-11!). Let me know your thoughts.

Have a great day-

Oh wait - I'm black too....and handicapped - so let me play the 'race card' as well as the 'handicapable card'...and i'm gay hispanic too - I forgot about that!--- maybe if I have enough things to milk YOU will owe ME money.

How repulsive to use 9-11 as a reason for a fucking discount. Know what? If you're REALLY that troubled by then, then pick another date, asshole. There are 51 other muthafucking weekends in the year that do not equate with a sensitive National Tragedy, you cheap prick.

After 9-11, I wondered if anyone would consciously pick that date to hold their event. Some may say it doesn't matter - I personably feel it's 'too soon' as they say. It is a date that is DEFINED BY the date itself (not something like 'pearl harbor' , the first time you had your period or got your little pussy fucked or "WW 2"---this IS NINE ELEVEN---

Just simply repulsive

this has nothing to do with weddings

but is just damn funny...

I need this from you

here's a laugh riot thats ben making the rounds from someone who wants to book someone on a saturday in the peak-summertime for 4 hours and at a cut-rate price. Why not call you old baby sitter, as she probably has an old Instamatic lying around and could do this for you with all the style, care and pizzaz you obviously don't give 2 shits about:

Hi angryvendor,

The below referenced package is what I am seeking.

Could you let me know the price as well as payment schedule please?

1. 4 Hours – Coverage
2. 4X6 Prints
3. On-line viewing site for friends and family
4. High resolution CD Rom, with rights
5. Engagement sitting

Time Schdule for the event is from 5pm till 9pm

Can each item be itemized out please?

Regards,
Apain Intheass

get lost, Camera Guy

"I hate you,Goyum"

...so I recently attended a wedding rehearsal - simple enough, take a few shots-- right? In/out everybody's happy.

Perhaps - but not when its overseen by the worlds nastiest Rabbi. This was a REHEARSAL - and while they were actually signing the Ketubah - making it therefore all legit so the groom to be could pork the bride later on and not feel guilty - it was held in the dining room of a country club. Not exactly the most sacred and holy of spots.

As the servers whiz by - trays full of pungent food held high overhead, he is suddenly distracted by a noisy child. He looks over his shoulder and says (I paraphrase) "If the kids are going to make that much noise then they---well---need to be removed."

REMOVED? I'm no fan of screaming kiddies, but what clergy member has kids taken OUT of a service. Someone remind me again why i don't attend church...

OK - so a bit later right before the signing, I sit at one of the chairs at the table - pretty normal behavior for me. Now this slob is sweaty - I mean 'have-to-keep-a-hankie-on-my-right-hand-to-swab-the-drips' sweaty. His tired little yamaka sliding down his moist, greasy scalp. He looks up at me and says, "Camera Guy--you cannot use flash during this ceremony. I shall tell you when you're able to use flash."

"OH, ok." I say to him turning of the flash. He then looks at me and waves his stumpy hand full of swollen fingers at me like there was a gnat flying around- to shoo me away! HE"S FUCKING SHOOING ME AWAY!

So i get up - blood boiling - and move away 3 tables.

The ceremony proceeds and at the end - his Frodo stand-in of a wife 'announces' to the room "You may now take flash photography if you wish" I sit motionless. "Fuck you." i'm thinking to myself.

"Where is the Camera Guy?" he says outloud. Uhhh - right over here RABBI GUY.

"I'm good, thanks---" I say regarding the photos I will now NOT take. What am I supposed to shoot? The service is over. People sitting around a badly decorated dining room table in a glorified mess hall? A shot of them all staring blankly up at me? If it would have not caused a fuss - or if I could have gotten him aside, I would have loved to ask "What exactly WAS I supposed to be photographing at that point?"

Sometimes it does not pay to leave the house