- The couple arrive.
- They don't look you in the eye.
- Before you can begin your spiel they start talking about this and that.
- He is yawning.
- She still won't make eye contact.
- She looks like a horse.
- You begin to try and answer a question.
- Mid sentence, you get interrupted.
- That happens numerous times.
- They ask a completely unrelated question.
- Moments later they say how you haven't answered the last question.
- You try to do that.
- He says something unrelated once again.
- She responds to him.
- They go into their own mini conversation.
- They finally remember you are in the room, look back at you and you start to answer.
- They cut you off with another random question.
- They inform you how organized they are.
- The notes are written on a crumbled sheet of paper.
- Your blood pressure rises.
- They start talking about photos.
- They infer that there are special people they want photos taken of.
- They do not want groups, just want me aware of who is who.
- 'How will you know them?" they question.
- You briefly consider making a joke about learning telepathy before their wedding day but bite your tongue.
- They tell you how they "...don't want many formals but HIS side of the family is huge and they will need a photo of all of them."
- "OH - and we will need multiple groups on my side as well."
- But they do not want many formals, you see.
- They ask if you can get all the formals completed in 30 minutes so they can attend their cocktail hour.
- You tell them they are fucking bat-shit crazy.
- They once again proclaim their love for their butthole venue, then mention how "the view is not that great and there seems to be no where to take nice photos."
- Yet they adore their venue.
- Super fantastic, you think. A picture-perfect perfection.
- The venue is under construction.
- There is mud all around.
- She is worried.
- Yet they ADORE their venue.
- They wonder how you will handle that.
- You try to answer, they briefly smile politely and then suddenly ask about albums.
- They suggest they can do their own on Shutterfly.
- They disagree as to which parent will want what type of album.
- This goes on and on for an hour.
- He yawns even wider and she starts looking more like My not-so-Pretty Pony.
- You are hating them.
- No-REALLY: you hate them.
- You want them out of your studio.
- You hope their 'perfect' venue burns down.
- You hope she slips on aforementioned mud and breaks her boney-ass horse hip the morning of the wedding.
- being an equine, she then then need to be shot.
- You hope he cheats on her and brings the pregnant girlfriend to the wedding the day of and ruins everything.
- You really, really, really really hope they would die, right here- right now in front of you.
- Just keel over dead so you could bury them in the back yard, as no one would miss these 2 fucking pests.
- another super-duper day at the office.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Nasty-Ass consultation
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