Tuesday, September 15, 2009

look at the fucking camera

SO try and tell me this hasn't happened to you: you are ready to shoot a group shot ---say 8 maybe 12 people---perhaps more.
You give everybody a count; a polite heads up: "OK! everybody READY!? HERE WE FUCKING GO..."
1---2---THREE!!!

click,click,click


And what do you get? The brides eyes are closed. The bridesmaid is checking out if the bar has started serving. The best man is checking out the bridesmaids tits. The grooms mother is watching guests disappointed at the shitty hors d'oeuvres selection. The groom is staring off blankly into the horizon of his doom.

And I Goddamn invisible people? Have any of you loser ever BEEN in front of a camera before? Are you 5 years old? How difficult can it really be, for a 125th of a second to not blink, open your piehole, turn your head sideways or make a stupid face? Is this photography thing brand new...it only started in the 1820's. Get on board, people.


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