The Inn at Longshore is at it again---

I had high hopes. I really did. The last several times I was at The Inn At Longshore the staff was very nice and actually went out of they way to be sure I was fed. "Somethings changed!" I happily thought to my self.

Not so fast.

The staff was still very nice, and mentioned "OH! WE have a meal for you later!" What they failed to mention was that the chef used to obviously work in a Iranian prison, and is experienced in using fecal matter as foodstuffs. We go in the back where there are multiple food trays awaiting. As we peel back the silver lid, we're met with a visual display unlike any other.

First the accompagnement: a few soggy pieces of what was once-upon-a-time asparagus, that appeared to be cooked in their industrial dishwasher. I could almost hear it screaming to be put out of its misery. AHH - but wait---in the CENTER of the vegetables were a few, leftover pieces of ziti with tomato sauce (the lucky guests had a scrumptious pasta course) So what the fuck is that? It was like "OH, we had some ziti we found on the floor, lets throw it in the middle of the vegetables." REALLY? Who DOES that?

and now for the plat principal- of which I was lucky enough to get the recipe!

step 1- find some poop on the lawn - preferably old and lumpy (Goose poop is always a gourmets choice)

step 2- form it into an long oval loaf about 3 inches across.

step 3- bake at 350 for 5 hours, so the edges get nice and crispy so no one can tell what its made of

step 4- slice it to give the appearance of something special, rather than the fucking lump of shit it really is

step 5- serve it to your helpless vendors who you obviously do not give 2 shits about

step 6- tell the bride the vendors have been fed so you stay out of trouble

step 7 - prepare to run to the can to shit out whatever the hell you just ate. Save said poop for kitchen to create tomorrows dinner. Ah, the Circle Of Life.

But honestly - I TRULY did not know what the fuck it was. Was it meatloaf? Was it a sausage thingy? Why was it so tiny? (an inch thick, 3 inches across) Whose rectum had it just slid out of?

I don't know why they think they can continue to get away with this. I assume they figure they can bank on their semi-nice view and feed people crap. Band together vendors--don't stand for this!!!

we're not hiring you, but we'll tell all our friends to use you!

what the fuck is THAT. When a couple calls and tells you they have gone elsewhere for your services but then proceed to alleviate their guilt by saying how they will 'Recommend you to ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS!!"

"Uh yeah, Hi Susie, yes---say, Bill and I are getting married! Can you believe it? He finally popped the question...say, who did you use for your photography?"

"OH, well we HIRED the fine folks at Magical Wedding Fantasy Champagne Memory Studios, but YOU should call these OTHER people who we did not hire."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Well they were SO nice and did such BEAUTIFUL work, it was unbelievable."

"But you didn't hire them...do you hate me or something?"

"NONSENSE we adore you, which is why you should call the people we didn't use--they were SO nice and we just LOVED everything about them."

"Are you high?"

"Well not yet today no, but you HAVE to call them, even though we did not use them. They're wonderful and we'd use them again for everything if we had it to do over, but we're not and never will so we won't have to worry about that!"

"I'm calling the hospital to take you away, Susie."

Do everyone a favor and drop the bullshit when you decide against a particular vendor...or you may go to The Funny Farm like Susie.