One of the great things bout knowing other photographers is that you get to share stories, advice, camaraderie, and friendship. And if one is going to happen to be ATTENDING a wedding you are shooting, then the floodgates of good-tidings open up like it's Christmas morning....
I know how hard your job is So here are some things I'm going to help you out with the day of the wedding:
1) I will be getting the entire wedding party shit canned before the ceremony to make your job impossible.
2) I will speed walking down the isle and will direct the entire BP to do the same.
3) I will be talking non-stop during all the formals. I may mix in a few Captain Morgan posses as well. If I'm not in the photo I will shout things over your shoulder so that I become the center of attention.
4) At some point during the night I will call you "picture guy "or "camera guy "or something along the those lines and make you take a photo of me doing something to the groom that you will most likely need to delete for fear of prosecution.
5) I'll ask you "what camera are you shooting with" and then will look at you blankly when you tell me what it is. I will most likely will follow up with " how many megapixels is that? " I will then walk away looking disappointed in you.
6) I will tell the whoever is handling the ceremony that you are not a photographer. In fact you are most likely an a cult, have a closet full of shrunken heads at home and should not be trusted. You are only there to steal the souls of the people you are "photographing"
7) I will kidnap at lest one BP member or parent during formals and lock them in the bathroom.
8) If at all possible I will direct you to the nearest beautiful gazebo for photos.
9) I will walk into any lightstand you may have put up during the night, no matter where you put it. I'll be sure not alert the fact that your flash is now on the floor in a lump of crumbled batteries and plastic.
10) I will send at lest one guest to attack you on the dance floor. This may or may not include them un-tucking your shirt while your shooting , hip checking or sex simulation.
11) I will tell all the older woman there that you can take 10 year and 20lbs off with your camera. They just have to ask you how to stand the right way.
12) I will spill red wine all over someone important's dress just because I know you can "photoshop that out". Right? That's EASY 'these days'?
13) I will blink and/or turn my head sideways in all of you great group shots.
14) I will be shooting over you shoulder for most if not all of the event. I will also offer up advice for additional group shoots such as bride with everyone of her 45 sorority sisters individually and as a group. One with drinks and one without.
15) I will also set up group shots on my own in the same location and at the same time you. Chances are I'll be shooting all of these with my cell phone and there for they are more important then yours.
These are just a few helpful things I'll be doing to make your day more enjoyable.
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