shoot my wedding for free

There is a crazy cunt who has been sending around this email to GROUPS of photographers (I say 'groups' in that she doesn't even have the good sense to make it APPEAR she is just emailing one person at a time---she just clumps together everyone she seems to be able to get a hold of) As far as we can tell - she has sent out at least 3 emails blasts so far:

Hi there! I was wondering if you might consider shooting my wedding
TFCD? I know this is a very odd proposal, but desperate times call for
desperare measures. I am a first year teacher and my finace is just
starting out in media production. We don't have a huge budget for our
wedding, which is planned for summer 2011. What we DO have are great
personalities and a very fun family! I have done quite a bit of
modeling and commercial work and my finace is absolutely adorable (if
I do say so myself)!! I know that I have done a lot of modeling
portfolio shoots TFCD and figured it was worth a try to see if we
could get a wedding photographer to agree to this. I promise we would
be fun and easy to work with, and provide you with some great wedding
shots to add to your portfolio. Please consider this proposal and let
me know if you would be interested! Thanks!

for those who care to research this fascinating subject at length, i suggest you begin HERE

Hmmmmm? Lets see---so this is a wedding and not a modeling shoot as far as I can tell---OH! I see...so because YOU think you are so fucking adorable and your family so sweet and charming, we should give up a prime wedding date during the summer (date and locale not yet chosen, I might add) to photograph your special fucking day for FREE? Do I get my cock sucked by you in return since you're so fucking 'cute'? Perhaps i'd prefer sodomizing your fiance's unwilling pooper? Can I screw whom I choose from the wedding party like going to a brothel? I'll take that one and, ummmmm--- THAT one!

Is the wedding some place UNBELIEVABLE, or just at another shitball wedding hall with fake rocks and fountains? I mean, if you;re getting married on the Internationmal Space Station or something, then gust let me know---

• Will I be left alone and shoot what i want?
• 
  
• Can i only stay 2 hours, and leave when it starts to get boring, which is generally 1/3 of the way through the day?
• 
  
• Can I not take a single formal or group shot?
• 
  
• Can I ignore obnoxious guests and tell them to 'fuck off' without repercussion?
• 
  
• when someone come up to me and says "HEY PHOTOGRAPHER---DID YOU GET THAT PICTURE???" can I slap them senseless across the face and knee them in the pussy?

Regardless of these questions to which I am well aware the answer is a resounding 'NO' - my professional suggestion you braindead dummy, is that you fuck yourself, and then get some relative who is 'really interested in photography and takes good piktures' to shoot your goddamn nightmare of a cheapass, discount day.

May you live happily forever and have a bunch of adorable cheap-as-shit children who will haunt you for the rest of your living days looking for a free handout like you are.