At times it's hard to believe how obnoxious people are with their expectations and lack of consideration for any 'life' you might have out of photographing their fucking events. Aside from a bride wanting to stop by after Thanksgiving to 'discuss photo options' for her fucking 2012 wedding (REALLY?? are you bringing me a dessert? Its not until next summer and you need to interrupt MY weekend with your asinine 'thoughts' all stolen from The Knot?), the latest offense is one of wanting photos done Christmas Eve.
Now I don't know about YOU, but i'm usually VERY busy Xmas Eve. Generally I wake up around noon next to an empty bottle of scotch, masturbate onto the christmas the to mimic new fallen snow, then dress up as Santa and go to the mall food court, where I drop my pants and await the arrival of security. Why? FOR ATTENTION obviously, because I have NOTHING THE FUCK ELSE TO DO. Except--oh! yes...photograph your greasy, baloon head family on a holiday. Though apparently I am the only one who sees that day as part of the holiday.
I will come over there so fast, snatch that menorah out of your twat and slap you across the face with it you selfish cunt. How about I arrive at about 2 am, as that's convenient for ME. Are there any other ways I may serve you, your Highness? I'll bet you also expect the images up online by Christmas morning so everyone can look at them for 2 minutes and then never order anything. I'll get right on that.
You know what else i'm getting right on?
NOT calling you back...
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