whats the deal with wedding 'photo booths'?

I really don't fucking get it---this trend that everyone wants a crappyass 'photo booth ' at their wedding. And when I say photobooth i don't mean the 'traditional' box you sit in and knock off a few shots that at least has a cool, traditional feel. I'm talking about the hung backdrop, shoved in a corner, distracting cheeseball setup and general bad behaviour. It's a WEDDING for Christ's sake, not a 6 year olds birthday party.

Now I have seen some cool ones - where you get neat shots of guests where it's fun and done tastefully...but it's the godamn props and drunken activities that kill me.

Stupid fucking feather boas.

Stupid fucking inflatable instruments.

Stupid fucking sparkle hats.

Stupid fucking goofy eyeglasses.

Stupid fucking Party Fucking City prop shit.

Stupid fucking fuckedy fuck fuck---awww fuck it. It fucking sucks.

Come on people----

Where has good taste and simplicity gone to? You're going to spend $50,000 on a wedding only to cheapen it with low-brow props and guys pretending to ass fuck each other the drunker they get? Mom and Dad making 'gang signs'? Brazen wasted bridesmaids threatening to expose their tits and pretend they are lesbian 'Charlie Angels' once they're on their 16th wine spritzer? Grandma like a geriatric Girl-Gone-Wild with her tongue sticking out like a panting dying dog licking a groomsman's face. Do I want to see this? Will your KIDS want to see this? THIS is a wedding these days?

While an unpopular point of view i'm sure, I hope that one day very soon we will look back, in the same way we do now with 'touch of color' photos and white faux-leather albums with gold cameos on the cover, and say - "what the fuck were we THINKING"?

my prickly pussy

a GREAT back and forth between client and photographer

Obviously this cunty client had her rancid pussy waxed and was upset that it was getting all prickly and nasty again.

______________________________________

I need to cancel my photo session scheduled for April. I'm no longer interested in having photos taken.

Thanks

Patty

Hi -

I just left you a vmail, please call me to discuss.

Thanks!

XXXXX

There's nothing to discuss. I can't work with vendor who can't provide timely responses.

Hi Patty,

I appreciate your honesty, and completely understand your frustration, 4 business days is too long to wait for an email response.

I am really sorry and upset that you have had a negative experience with us, I can assure you that we never want any client to feel the way that we made you feel.

I do not want to make excuses, however, I want you to know that we were out of the country shooting a destination wedding. I responded to all of the emails that I came back to as quickly as possible, and unfortunately it took me almost a week to catch up. I know that this cannot compensate for your frustration, but If you would still be willing to work with us and give us the opportunity to shoot your session, I would like to offer you a $200 discount on your package.

Please let me know or call me if you want to discuss anything at all.

Sincerely,

XXXXXX

Your contract neither provides language with regard to the return of the retainer, nor language expressing that the retainer is non-refundable. Seeing that in the current situation, the contract was terminated with cause (failure to acknowledge payment of the retainer and failure to respond to client communications for over a week -- I e-mailed you on and you did not reply for 8 days, I expect a refund of the $100 retainer. Please remit payment as soon as possible.

--Patty

You can call my cell phone anytime if you want to discuss your concerns.

Thanks,

XXXX

There is nothing to discuss.

You're going to refund the payment or you're not going to refund the payment. If you decide not to refund the payment, I will be forced to take further actions in order to secure a refund. - Patty

Hi Patty,

There are not enough words in the English language to express what an absolute joy it has been to work with you! Every time one of your emails appeared in my inbox it was as if Mother Nature had sent a little pocket of sunshine into my life. There's nothing in this world that could have brought me more pleasure than to issue you a refund via paypal. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and I hope your wedding is an absolute dream come true.

Cheers!

You go from "completely understand[ing my] frustration" to (promptly) sending me an e-mail that is sarcastic beyond words. As you know, you work in a service industry in which the trust, confidence and comfort of the client is paramount in creating a final product with which all parties will be happy. For me, a reasonable level of responsiveness is necessary in order to feel comfortable. After not hearing from you for essentially a month since I sent my deposit (I understand destination weddings are much more exciting than day-to-day work at home), I felt incredibly uncomfortable going forward with the shoot, thus I canceled and requested a refund.

All of my actions were reasonable and well within my contractual rights. While I appreciate the prompt refund after opening a dispute with PayPal, your e-mail was mean spirited, offensive and unnecessary. All I wanted were some nice pictures for my fiancee, I would like to think that as a photographer with a beautiful book of work you would have been able to provide that.

--Patty

Mean spirited and sarcastic? That couldn't be further from the truth! I hope nothing more than perfection for you and your fiancee on your special day.

the newfangled Internetsweb

You know - it amazed me how many 'educated' people are unable to figure out the simplest things when it comes to ordering items online or using a password. Case in point - online events. These are bright people, CEO's (or their wives) in many cases - who are baffled by the concept of ordering an image online. Yet the most frustrating part of all is when it comes to passwords.

Clearly posted - in red - at the top of a given page - you'll be able to see something like:

Password is: susiejim2001

and yet...

...you would think you'd need a fucking decoder ring, degree in Latin & obscure languages and a retinal scan. These wacky broads sit there in their multi-million dollar homes while Consuela Sanchez busily dusts around them, and email or call asking:

"How do i find the password?"

"What do I need to do to get the password?"

"Why is my life failing?"

"This isn't working!!!!" they whine on voicemail messages, cocktail in one hand, finger jammed in their pussy with the other. BITCH - open your drug glazed Botoxed-Greenwich CT eyes and fucking READ.

I know this Internetweb thing is very confusing, Lots of things are confusing; why you look still like a lizard after all the WORK you've had done.

Why your kids were so confused when they discovered you blowing the pool cleaner.

Why your husband never comes home.

We're all confused by things my dears, but open your fucking eyes, READ and leave me alone.

keep me in mind for your third wedding, please

It's happened again - the old "we love you Sooooooo much, but are not using you but will DEFINITELY keep you in mind in the future."

Hi ... thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly, and I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, things on my end have just been incredibly crazy. I have decided on another photographer ... mainly to save me some money. My sister-in-law referred me to you because of how beautiful (another brides) pictures came out ... and I absolutely love your work. I will, without a doubt, keep you in mind in the future. Thanks again!!

Honestly, what the fuck? I'm not sure if it's insulting or people are just plain embarrassed. "mainly to save me some money" Is that even english? Well, i'm sure their stunning event at the I-95 'Days Inn' will be the media event of the year.

just plain rude

if you're affected by the economy and cannot afford certain services, fine - but you don't have to be all cunty about it:

Hi There;

Unfortunately, your pricing seemed a bit steep, and given the current state of the economy, we noticed that many qualified and highly talented photographers are available at much more reasonable rates.

Thanks again,_ _ _ _ _ _

good luck with your JC Penny photographic stylings. You'll be divorced in no time anyway, and sitting home alone masturbating with a cucumber while watching 'Sex In The City' reruns.

style guru

There is a new wave of chilling salesmanship on the wedding horizon - one that is once again aimed at unsuspecting vendors and professionals. Certain 'pretty' blogs with a fair amount of 'style'...this new approach is the 'Exclusive Wedding Blog'; one that will only host a select number of vendors. One that fancies themselves hosted by 'style gurus' - who are in fact - chicks sitting around their living room on a laptop dreaming up the Next Big Thing. I guess thats

Capitalism in the flesh when you stop and think about it.

In the past if you had the dollars, you could get an ad. They practically jumped though the phone to give you a hand job. And if you placed a print ad - there was inevitably oral pleasure involved.

These days, things have changed and what's rather appalling about this new approach, is how these jokers are now sending out emails targeting photographers and wedding pros with a "non-refundable application fee." THAT is previously unheard of; to simply pay to be considered.

Sounds to me like someone needs diapers for their kids.

What background do these 'gurus' have? What criteria do they utilize, not only judge the vendors, but dole out the wedding opinions to doe-eyed, puzzled brides all willy-nilly? Don't brides have enough shit to sift through without this bullshit getting added to the mix?

What this basically amounts to is this: "Please send us Yentas sitting arounf in our PJ's, in a 2 bedroom apartment making random decisions some cash. We'll tell everyone that cookies and the color BLUE will be hot his year - and OH yes- you also owe us $750 for listing this year."

It's a National Tragedy- can I have a discount?

This is truly disgusting and submitted by a reader who received this email:

My fiance and I are in the begining process of researching photographers and, we were looking to stay around the $2000 range. Is this something you could work with? Some vendors have been more willing to negotiate because of the implication on our date (9-11!). Let me know your thoughts.

Have a great day-

Oh wait - I'm black too....and handicapped - so let me play the 'race card' as well as the 'handicapable card'...and i'm gay hispanic too - I forgot about that!--- maybe if I have enough things to milk YOU will owe ME money.

How repulsive to use 9-11 as a reason for a fucking discount. Know what? If you're REALLY that troubled by then, then pick another date, asshole. There are 51 other muthafucking weekends in the year that do not equate with a sensitive National Tragedy, you cheap prick.

After 9-11, I wondered if anyone would consciously pick that date to hold their event. Some may say it doesn't matter - I personably feel it's 'too soon' as they say. It is a date that is DEFINED BY the date itself (not something like 'pearl harbor' , the first time you had your period or got your little pussy fucked or "WW 2"---this IS NINE ELEVEN---

Just simply repulsive