the hired help

About a year ago I was shooting a wedding in the Hartford area at what was a really nice venue. The bride was all wound up and cunty, and was yelling at her mother the whole time, who was doting over her every move. It took a lot for me to stay calm.

Anyway, she made a big deal about how she didn't want to spend 'forever' taking formal shots so she could have fun ( something she had apparently never tried before) at the cocktail hour.

So the time comes to start shooting and she has an innumerable amount of combinations of every conceivable family member. So I could only guess that she was abducted by aliens at some point who had twisted her mind between the time we met and the wedding. It was the total opposite of what she told me all along she wanted.

While she has me shooting ever relative that ever lived - she says "We need to do this fast!!! I'm paying $2000 for the steel drum band that i'm not even getting to hear..." .....as she assembles yet another grouping. It's hot, I'm aggravated, I was done an hour ago, my nuts are sweaty and I want to get inside.

After all of this nonsense, the groom (a sweet guy I felt bad for, as he didn't stand a chance with this broad) looks at me and says "Hey, thanks for taking all those shots." His new wife, Cunty Bitchstein, looks at him and says: "You don't have to thank him, that's what we're paying him for."  I was aghast. Did she REALLY just say that in front of me? Do you REALLY think I'm going to do anything for you the rest of the day other than wish or your timely demise. Dontcha' think maybe you have your Tampax jammed up your hoo-hoo too far?

I ---I can't even think of something funny to end this with as that still upsets me to this day!...well, "hoo-hoo" is pretty funny if you think about it.