UMMMM,yummy!
There are several online sites where customers can post details of their upcoming events. Photographers can then purchase their email address if interested. This is a listing as it appeared awhile back:
Ceremony at Church in Westport, Reception to follow at The Yacht Club in Greenwich, CT
Estimate about 250 Guests.
Looking for the following:
1. Enthusiastic and aggressive photographer willing to get in the middle of things to get the perfect shot.
2. A variety of detail and thought in the shots. Using variation in light, background, exposure, depth of field to highlight the subject and capture the moment.
3. Someone who is going to scout the wedding site(s) ahead of time and plan the shots accounting for indoor and outdoor photography requirements based on time of day and location.
4. Someone who can tell a story with the pictures from the preparation and anxiety at the beginning of the day down to the sheer exhilaration and playful nature of the ceremony and following reception.
5.Established Portfolio proving experience satisfying the previous bullets
Exactly what does someone like this expect from a photographer – or ANY vendor for that matter. Could anything ever be right? She says right there that she’s planning on having anxiety that morning. I have anxiety just reading this. At least she’s being up front that she has no plans on being calm until she starts mindlessly jumping up and down like a silly schoolgirl when her “playful nature” kicks in. More like when the Xanax kicks in. Perhaps the caterer is creating a delicious Paxil punch, to assist her with the “sheer exhilaration” part of the night. She might have added "Someone willing to lick my sphincter hole" since it seems that what's she wants and needs.
So if you’re supposed to go the the location in advance to “plan the shots accounting for indoor and outdoor photography requirements based on time of day and location” can you imagine if it rained that day? She’d have you in court before she said “I do,” and right after that have a complete breakdown. This chick is right on the edge as it is – I wish I could be a fly on the wall when she starts looking for a dress.
Personally, I can think of a satisfying experience involving bullets, but it has nothing to do with a portfolio.
3 comments:
oh my God.
no, really.
Let me itemize out exactly how I want you to do your job, but then feel free to be creative.
But only if it's exactly what I asked you to do.
uhh - yeah---I am SO upset I didn't book that one! I can feel the fun from here!
ha ha!! sincere outloud chuckle. that is such a riot.
"She might have added "Someone willing to lick my sphincter hole" since it seems that what's she wants and needs." --are you kidding me? Why not just tell her to have the reception hall set up the day before so you can scope out the location to her EXACT specifications.
bullet this.
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