Wednesday, June 4, 2008

a big bowl of shit


















I was at a place a few weeks back which is notorious for not feeding you (yes you know who you are, the INN AT FUCKING LONGSHORE)

So anyway, expecting that I brought snacks only to later find that they put out a big bowl of soggy, pre-chewed ziti and saliva. I figured, OK thats better than nothing.
 A staff member said happily, "OH! You're also getting a meal!"
"Really?" we questioned, "what is it?"
"Stew"! he said cheerily. 

Now who the fuck serves stew at a wedding, or to anybody for that matter? 

Out comes the heat tray a little later, and when I peeled back the lid it looked like body parts in a red sauce with peppers---unlike any 'stew' I have ever encountered.  It was road-kill and abortion all tossed together with love, sealed with a kiss and topped off with something that leaked out of my asshole. I asked that same staff member who was downing some like it was his last meal, "So what IS it?"
"Filet Mignon pieces in sauce." I wondered who would ruin a filet by coating it with a sauce made of poop. 
In the corner I noticed a band member ready to heave.
"Is it any good?" I asked knowing the answer.
"If you like big, chewy pieces of fat, yes." 
I opted out at that point, as it TRULY looked like they took the guests remaining food, chopped it up and mashed it into some steamy hot pile of shit that I had seen the day before at the bottom of my toilet bowl.
Why do places like this think thats OK? And why do they pull a fast one on couples who THINK they're paying for a REAl meal for you. I'm not even a bride and it pisses me off.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Better then the Turkey and chips you usually get!!! Maybe not

Anonymous said...

not---

Anonymous said...

Next place to go off on... THE BOND BALLROOM! They are grade-A a$$holes there... let me know if you need any contributors (you know you know who I am)

Can't wait for my shit stew, I am destined to shoot there at some point this summer and will def bring my own food, thanks for the heads up

Anonymous said...

i think i see an eyeball in there

Anonymous said...

oh great - i have a Bond event this year---good to know!

Anonymous said...

holy crap that is disgusting. i couldn't even read the rest of the post I wanted to gag. I've had my bad experiences there. But then again, I was smart and grabbed McDonald's on the way.

this is just poor business practice. we're never going to want to refer people to places that treat their vendors like they are "the help".

Anonymous said...

Did the executive chef mix in the Rommin noodles? that is just gross